Helping Young Children Understand End-of-Life Care
If you have a parent or grandparent in hospice care, you might still wish to bring your children to come to visit. Young children can bring joy to people nearing the end of their life, especially to grandparents or great-grandparents who have loved your children. However, end-of-life care or seeing someone sick in hospice can sometimes be troubling or confusing for a young child. Here are some ways you can help your child to understand end-of-life care and cope with the loss of a loved family member.
1. Explain simply, but honestly, what your parent's health situation is.
When talking to your child about a loved one's failing health, you might be tempted to sugar-coat the truth or to use euphemisms to explain what is going on. However, without a clear explanation, children can be more confused.
Instead, be honest with your child. You might say something like, "Grandpa is very sick. Usually, when people are sick, they go to the doctor or take medicine to get better. But grandpa is too sick to get better. Instead, he is going to rest and stay comfortable."
Explain what hospice is, and explain what death is in clear terms. Words like "passed away" or "gone to sleep" are hard for kids to understand. Explain that when someone dies, their body does not work anymore, and it cannot get better.
2. Give instructions on how to behave.
Hospice time can be stressful for members of the family. Children can be rambunctious or excited at times when it would be better if they were calm and quiet. Have a talk with your child before visiting. Tell your child not the touch any medical equipment in the room. Speak with a quiet voice when in the room. Sometimes, people in hospice care can't talk much, so warn your child beforehand that the visit might not be the same as visits to other friends and family members.
3. Encourage your child to ask questions at home.
Visiting someone in hospice can pique your child's curiosity. They might have a lot of questions. Tell your child to save questions for the trip home so that the visit can be nice without worrying about illness or medical equipment. If your loved one is comfortable with explaining and is feeling well, you can follow their lead with what they might want.
4. Know when to say good-bye.
Some children can be traumatized by seeing people wasting away. Once your loved one has passed a certain point of health, you might not bring your child to visit anymore.
